


Musings on Kissing

by the_crazyones



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-23
Updated: 2014-03-23
Packaged: 2018-01-16 17:27:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1355740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_crazyones/pseuds/the_crazyones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The boys have a discussion on kissing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Musings on Kissing

During the training camp with Shuutoku and Seirin.  
  
“Bastard! You really think you can do a double clutch better than I can!” Kagami growled, as he pulled Midorima’s collar down to glare at him heatedly.  
  
Midorima, even while hanging off Kagami’s grip, still managed to look calm and imposing. He tilted his head to look coolly down at Kagami. “Of course. That is an undeniable fact.”  
  
“Y-you!” grunted Kagami frustratedly. He shoved Midorima away from him. “What do you know, dumbass? You’re just some three-pointer freak!”  
  
Midorima adjusted his collar, then pushed up his spectacles. “Three-pointers are still better than double clutch shots. Regardless, I can do it better than you. I’m just an overall better athlete than you are. Even if Leos are ranked first, and Cancers, last, I will be able to-“  
  
“Gaah, fine, stop it already! Enough with the stupid horoscopes!” Kagami flailed wildly as he tried to retort. “You’re  _not_ a better athlete than I am! You’re  _not_! I-I…I’ll prove it to you! I’ll beat you in the next match,  _again_! For sure!” At this declaration, Kagami stilled his frantic gesticulations, and looked at Midorima fiercely straight into his eyes. Of this, Kagami was absolutely certain.  
  
Midorima glared back. They both stood unmoving as they glowered at each other.  
  
“Weeellll, that’s real nice and everything, but we  _do_ have a basketball court just around the corner.” Takao chose to interrupt the intense staring match with his customary carefree nonchalance. “Oh, I know,” he stated with deliberate slowness, “why don’t we see who’s better right now?” And shined a grin at both of them.  
  
They both looked at Takao, and after a beat, both bolted around the corner.  
  
Takao chuckled. “Ah, don’t you just love all this passionate anger?” he drawled cheerfully, as he slung an arm around Kuroko, who had merely been observing the scene.  
  
“Takao-kun.” Kuroko turned to look at Takao. “You are probably a psychiatrist’s worst nightmare.”  
  
Takao recoiled and gasped dramatically. “Kuroko! That’s really-“  
  
But before he could finish his sentence, they heard an incoherent yell.  
  
“Hmm, that doesn’t sound right…it sounded just like Shin-chan,” Takao frowned thoughtfully. “But there’s no way he’d ever scream like that, right, Kuroko?” But when he turned, Kuroko was nowhere to be found.  
  
Takao groaned. “Sheesh…”  
  
By the time he arrived at the scene, Midorima was breathing hard and was all red. Kagami looked confused and Kuroko (unbelievably) looked a little puzzled.  
  
“Hey, hey, what’s going on here?” chimed Takao. “Don’t worry, the hero is here to save you, ahaha…”  
  
Midorima turned on Takao, his hands balling into fists. “This is no time for jokes, Takao! You can’t believe what I just witnessed!”  
  
Takao nodded appeasingly and waved his hands to calm Midorima down. “Yes, yes, alright, Shin-chan, calm down. What is it this time? Someone stole your red bean soup? Kicked your football? Say, isn’t it ironic, you’re not  _supposed_ to mess up your lucky item, but what if your lucky item was a football like today, then shouldn’t your luck  _double_ when you use it the right way, but then the right way is actually messing it up…man, my head is starting to hurt-“  
  
“Takao.” Midorima cut Takao’s rambling off with gritted teeth.   
  
Takao sighed. “What is it, Shin-chan?”  
  
Midorima swallowed discreetly, closed his eyes, and then said, “I saw a couple kissing. Right there.”  
  
He couldn’t hear anything. When Midorima opened his eyes, it was to see all three of his companions looking spectacularly unfazed.   
  
Takao still looked like he was expecting to hear more. “And?”  
  
Midorima frowned. “It was  _right on_ the three-pointer line!”  
  
Takao crossed his arms, and narrowed his eyes in puzzlement. “So…go shoot a basket?”  
  
Midorima actually gaped at him. “Is this not something unusual or surprising to you?” He turned to Kagami and Kuroko. “To any of you?”  
  
Kagami and Kuroko looked at each other, and then shrugged.   
  
Midorima sighed, straightened up his posture, and adjusted his spectacles. “Kissing, is an action performed by lovers. It is an extremely intimate affair. It should not be in public, let alone on a basketball court. That is improper.”  
  
“Well,  _of course_  we know what kissing is, Shin-chan!” Takao said exasperatedly. “I just don’t see what the big deal is. So they kissed over there. So what? I used to kiss my girlfriend all the time back in middle school.” He emphasised this with his usual carefree shrug.  
  
And he promptly became surprised when Midorima started. “What, Shin-chan? Surely this isn’t such an alien concept to you?” He turned to Kagami and Kuroko for support.  
  
Kagami scratched his ear as he said, “Uh…yeah, it’s not a big deal to me…I mean, I have been kissed before…because of…Alex.” At this, he turned red briefly as he remembered all the times she planted a kiss on him when he was just hanging around unsuspectingly. “But anyway! The point is, I guess I’m trying to say that, yeah, I do think kissing is, uh, for lovers and all that crap you said, but I also think it can just be something you do when you’re just…really happy to see a person you care about. I think it’s okay…I’ve seen it happening all the time in LA…”  
  
Takao nodded with a pleased grin and clapped Kagami on the shoulder as he said, “As expected of a returnee from America!” Kagami just “hmphed” and tried to shove his hands into his pocket-less basketball shorts.  
  
Everyone turned to look at Kuroko.   
  
Kuroko nodded. “I have kissed someone before.”  
  
Everyone jumped in shock. “Ehh?!” Kagami shouted in his surprise. Takao started slapping Midorima’s shoulder in his excitement, but Midorima was too frozen to shove him off.   
  
“I have kissed someone before,” Kuroko repeated. He paused. “I do not think that she realised it though.”  
  
Everyone immediately averted eyes from Kuroko. Takao winced and tried to whistle to fill the awkward silence. Midorima tried to push up his spectacles even though he couldn’t do so anymore. And Kagami awkwardly tried to place his hand on Kuroko’s shoulder. But before he could do so…  
  
“It was an accident. She tripped and fell onto me. We both apologised and moved on to our classes after that.”  
  
Kagami immediately moved to punch Kuroko on the shoulder instead of in comfort. “Bastard! You wanted to do that.”  
  
Kuroko shook his head (did Takao see a ghost of a smile fleet on his face for just a moment?) and said, “No, I did not.” He turned to look at Midorima. “Midorima-kun. I agree that kissing is an intimate gesture to show affection. However, I think that this gesture does not necessarily have to be limited to private moments.”  
  
Midorima felt himself turning red.  
  
"Weelll, Shin-chan, looks like in terms of the kissing experience pecking order, you’re right at the bottom, aren’t you?" Takao said cheerfully as he slung an arm around Midorima. "Ah, but don’t worry, Shin-chan, we all still love you anyway…"  
  
Midorima pushed Takao’s arm off, then cleared his throat. “I see that my views are unpopular in this circle. However. I do not care that I have not kissed anyone before. Why?” He paused to push up his spectacles, this time to make a point and not because of awkwardness. “Because I believe that when I finally kiss someone, it has to be when all the stars have aligned, and when all the signs point towards this action, for it to unmistakably occur. And it has to happen when we are both alone, because the privacy would accord this action with the maximum gravitas and dignity that this intimate gesture, and every subsequent romantic gesture deserves.”  
  
At this, everyone fell silent in awe and continued staring at Midorima. Feeling slightly self-conscious, he made a show of rearranging his sports jersey.  
  
Takao exhaled. “Well, shit.”  
  
Kuroko nodded. “Very eloquently put, Takao-kun…and, Midorima-kun.”  
  
Kagami scratched his head, and then did the only thing he thought he could do after hearing his rival give a cheesy romantic speech. ”So I’m gonna smash you right now with my double clutch shot! Then you’ll see who’s the better athlete once and for all! Uwaa!!”  
  
Watching Midorima and Kagami wrestle it out with the basketball, Takao chuckled, and pulled Kuroko down to sit by the side of the court. “Like I said, don’t you just  _adore_ all this passionate anger? And phew, luckily Kagami got us out of  _that_  situation. I don’t know how I could’ve faced Shin-chan if we all remained in that mood!”  
  
Kuroko only smiled in agreement.


End file.
